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06 April 2011 @ 12:05 am
Between The Gaps; 02  
Title: Between The Gaps
Author: forever_smilez  
Pairing: Yoochun/Junsu
Length: Short Story [02/04]
Genre: Angst, lots of angst!
Rating: PG
Summary: All Junsu needed to do was read between the lines and he would find it. Could Yoochun make him realise before it was too late?
Warning: Mpreg-ish.
A/N: It's been a while eh? Are my old readers still here? :( Sorry it's taken SOOO long but I've finally found the motivation to finish this fic, so hopefully all chapters will be posted by the end of the week or so (I just need to re-read etc.) I strongly recommend you to re-read the previous chapters (to my old readers) as it's been so long xD New readers most definitely welcomed ^^ Really hope you like this fic, I've grown really attached to it...Enjoy lovelies!! ♥♥♥

Previous Chapters: 00|01

“J…Junsu-ah.”
Junsu lowers his head as if Yoochun had mistaken him for someone else, because he WAS someone else. He wasn’t the Junsu Yoochun knew anymore, he had become someone completely different; Junsu was now a stranger to those who were closest to him.
He attempts to walk away avoiding the older man’s following eyes.
“Where are you going?”
Yoochun grabs Junsu’s arm in desperation, stopping him from running away. Junsu shakes him off as he continues walking to a destination he had no intention of going to.
“Wh-What about the child?”
Junsu stops.
“Is…is he yours?”
He blocks the thoughts running through his mind.
“I’ve got to go.”
“Please Junsu, talk to me. Please...”
“What do you want me to say?”
“Anything, I just want to hear your voice.”
“…”
“How have you been? Where have you been staying?”
“I’ve been fine…h- look I should get back.” Junsu promptly stops before he lets himself ask the question, he doesn’t want to know how Yoochun is. He knows, he saw, he could see how Yoochun was and he didn’t want the words to come out of his mouth and confirm what he already knew. He saw the ring on Yoochun’s finger, it was more than enough.

*Flashback*
“I think you’ve had enough now sir.”
“I’m perfectly fine, just give me another vodka.”
“Sorry Sir, but I can’t serve you anymore alcohol.”
“Just one more, you can at least give me one more.”
“I’m sorry…”
“Please, just one more so I can forget. ONE MO-” he leans over and attempts to grab the bartender in desperation.

For the past few weeks, this was what his life consisted of. Spending nights in random bars, sitting alone in the dark in a tiny bedsit room, thinking, forgetting, yet it always managed to come back to him. Park Yoochun, the guy that his heart wouldn’t let go of.

His fingers scrape across the younger barman’s collar as he bends over the counter in pain. A sudden sharp throbbing sensation forces him to clutch onto his stomach, the room goes blurry, murmured echoes buzz around him.
“Sir…Sir?”
And then he’s falling…
~~~~~~
“Junsu-shi?”
Junsu opens his eyes to meet blinding bright lights and an older man looming over him.
“What’s happened?”
“You was unconscious for a few hours due to the immerse alcohol you had consumed. You’re really lucky you haven’t inflicted any permanent damage to yourself and your child.”
“W-what? My child?”
“You’re six months pregnant Junsu-shi, you didn’t know?”
“But I had a miscarriage…”
“This scan says otherwise.”
“But the doctor told me so.”
Junsu replies as he traces the outline of his child on the photo.
“Junsu-shi, on your records it shows no records of any appointments in the recent months with any doctor whatsoever.”
“It was with a private doctor…”
“Private or not, it would be on your records and it shows you have not attended any appointments for the past four months.”
Junsu’s mind was spinning; pieces of the past and present were fighting their way through as Junsu tried to construct them into something he could comprehend.
Why was it that Yoochun’s mother was so eager for him to be seen by a private doctor during his feelings of discomfort, when his main doctor was perfectly capable?
Why was she so eager to be by Junsu’s side rather than ‘let Yoochun worry about something that might be nothing’?
And then it hit him. After all those months, all that pain, the sudden interest in their relationship, it started to slowly unfold.
“So nothing is wrong with the baby?”
“Everything is fine Junsu-shi; you will have to rest and no more alcohol.”

As soon as he returned back to the bedsit, he immediately rummages through his suitcase and his bag which had remained untouched since the day he started this ‘new beginning’.
Unravelling scrunched up pieces of paper lost within the contents of his bag, Junsu searches for a certain sequence of numbers.
His heart ran erratically as soon as the right numbers were found, rushing back out onto the busy streets, stumbling through the narrow entrance of the phone box, he dials the required number.
This number you require is currently unavailable.
He redials.
This number you require is currently unavailable.
“How can a doctor constantly on call be unavailable?”
Junsu tries one more time.
This number you require is currently unavailable.
He rings the local directory and requests the number of the so called private hospital this Doctor Jung was from.

He dials. They answer. And the lovely young secretary confirms (three times) that Doctor Jung Minho was not and never was an employee at Daehang Hospital.
"I’m sorry sir, we have never heard of a Doctor Jung Minho…"
The lady asks whether Junsu had anymore queries, but the phone was left swinging from side to side off the receiver. He stares into space dumbfounded at what this woman was trying to do to his life. What were her reasons? Why? Why?
The dialling tone which suddenly echoes throughout the confine space brings Junsu back to reality.

He needed answers. Answers meant going back to where his life with Yoochun began.

It took him ten whole days to pluck up the courage to pack his bag and figure out what to say to Yoochun. He had left without a trace for two months, he was going to go back hoping that the foundations of his route were still visible for him to rebuild upon. Answers needed to be found and he was one that had to give them as well as Yoochun’s mother.
He repeats the words he had planned to say over and over in his mind, yet every cycle of words would never be exact. Words were erased and replaced; he was never going to get the right words out. He was going to let it flow. Pulling his suitcase along the pavement his heart pounds against his chest harder and harder as he draws closer to ‘their’ flat, everything around him remained the same. Two months, to the world it was nothing, but to Junsu it felt like eternity. Without any second thoughts Junsu had assumed that whether it took time or not, their relationship would eventually be the same as it was, if not stronger. Never had it even crossed his mind that Yoochun would move on so soon, because if Junsu couldn’t nor would Yoochun. Junsu and his selfish mind.

From afar Junsu watched the pair as though they were any other couple in public; it was just a passing glance at first. But then he spotted that women, Yoochun’s mother, which forced him to fully observe.
The older lady straightens her son’s jacket and brushes the lint off his shoulders; she cups the hands of the young lady on Yoochun’s arm and smiles at them happily. Words that Junsu couldn’t read but he could imagine what was said. She was praising them or something along the lines before slipping away.
Junsu couldn’t help but stare, especially at lady who only seemed a few years younger than Yoochun. She was pretty, stunning in fact, with a beautiful and genuine smile. They seem happy.
“He’s moved on…”
The older lady steps beside him as they both watch on ahead at Yoochun and his new partner.
“What brings you back here Junsu-shi?”
“You know what?”
“I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“The baby, how long did you think you could keep me away from?”
“Long enough.”
“Not as long as you thought you would right?”
“No, but it’s enough .”
“Enough for what? Why are you doing this to us?”
“Enough for Yoochun to forget about you. I don’t need you poisoning my son with your issues.”
“My issues?”
“People like you; he doesn’t need to mix with your kind. Look at them; she’s perfect for my Yoochun. It’s like fate bought them together.”
“’My kind’? Excuse me but what do you know about ‘my kind’?” Junsu wanted to retort so much more than just one sentence, but he bit his tongue. No matter what, she was an elder and he had to find some kind of respect within himself to not explode curses at her.
“I know that Yoochun didn’t need to be brought lower than he already was when he was with you, he couldn’t have a child with you!”
“But he is and you know he is!”
“As far as he knows you’ve lost the child and have left his life completely. I intend that it stays that way.”
“Oh yeah? And how are you intending on doing so?”
“Yoochun’s moved on, look at them he’s happy.”
“Whether Yoochun has moved on or not, he has the right to know he’s still expecting a child.”
“You won’t be doing anyone any favours by revealing the truth.”
“Excuse me?”
“So you tell him the truth, what do you think you can benefit from it? Who will benefit Junsu-shi? You? Because you have no chance. You think you can tell Yoochun the truth and expect him to come running back in your arms?”
“He has the right to know, I’m not expecting anything. If Yoochun is so happy, then we can work out an arrangement for this child. Why are you so bitter?”
“You! The child will become this bridge that links the both of you together. The feelings between the both of you are so raw that anything can happen and I can’t risk it. Junsu-shi look at him, look at them. They are so happy together and are soon to be engaged. They’re planning their own place, to start their own family. Please don’t destroy him anymore than you already have. You think he would take the news of your child with a positive attitude, with welcome arms? Have you forgotten that you left without a trace leaving him to grieve alone, two months Junsu-shi. It’s felt like two years to Yoochun, sitting by the phone waiting for you to call, jumping at every sound and movement in the house you both shared, he’s only recently started to move on. Please, I can’t see him go through the pain again. Just let him be, he’ll have his own family soon. If you need support with the child, I’m sure we can come up with something-“
“I don’t need anything from you.”
Junsu retraces the path he had walked moments ago, away from ‘their’ home.
“You won’t say anything will you Junsu-shi?”
“Junsu-shi…?”
*End of Flashback*
“You’re fine? Junsu-ah you’re far from fine. Why are you living like this?”
“…It’s the best I can live…”
“No it’s not. You left so much behind, your home, your family, me…that’s the best you can live? Why are you suffering like this when you can j-”
“I can’t go back.”
“Why?”
“I just can’t, I hav- We’ve all moved on now, it’s not the same anymore.”
“Who’s moved on? You?”
“We all have, it’s been over five years…”
“Is it the child? Is that why? Who is h-”
“I really got to get back, take care Yoochun.”
Yoochun grabs Junsu’s arm.
“Come home…”
Junsu turns towards Yoochun and cups his hand, slowly pulling the older man’s hand away, he smiles. His hand lingers for a while, fingers running along Yoochun’s, he traces the outline of the latter’s ring.
“Be happy…”
“I can’t let you go again.”
“You have to; you have your own family to take care of.”
Junsu clutches his fingers around Yoochun’s ring.
“What? No, you don’t understand.”
“Bye Yoochun.”
“Wait, you have to let me explain.”
“You don’t have to. It’s okay. You’re happy and so am I…”
They cling onto the tips of their fingers for what felt to Junsu as an eternity, forcing himself out of Yoochun’s hold he leaves the older man motionless watching him retreat back into the bathhouse.

As Junsu walks back into the warmth of the bathhouse, part of his heart still feels the hold on his arm, holding him back, another moment longer with Yoochun. But he returns to his son alone, with an extra load on his chest that that continues to beat vigorously, even now, and it shows no sign of slowing down…
~~~~~~
He feels as though he’s back to where he was five years ago.
Rejected, no answers, and no Junsu.
And he goes through the stages of ‘picking himself up’ like he did five years ago. Although he had never quite fully stood back on his own two feet before crumbling back onto the floor five years later.
Yet no one knew, Junsu didn’t know.

The room echoes as the key turns in the lock, opens and slams shut again.
Yoochun walks along the perimeter of the room in pure darkness, he was on familiar grounds, he didn’t need the light to direct him.
He preferred it this way, just the feel of familiarity was more than enough than to see the objects which would illuminate under the light.
His fingers trace the dusty shelves, the untouched computer, their photos on the mantelpiece that remained on show for no one but himself to see. The house that was once Junsu’s and Yoochun’s was still Junsu’s and Yoochun’s. The house remained the same as it was all those years ago, waiting for its owners to return one day.
~~~~~~
“Are we going home Daddy?” Home meaning that corner in the alleyway, Junsu wishes he had never let his son call that place home so freely, it wasn’t fit enough to be anyone’s home.
“No son, we’re leaving for another adventure.”
“Where?”
“It’s a surprise, you’ll just have to wait and see.”
Junsu smiles and holds onto his son’s hand tightly walking towards their unknown adventure.

“How can I be happy when I see you like this? How can I be when you’re not by my side Junsu-ah?”
“Ahjushii’s friend!”
There in front of them was a tired looking Yoochun who had been waiting all morning for them to return back to their ‘normal’ life.
“Surprise? Can I come and see what surprise you have up your sleeve too?”

Beneath the smile laid the guilt and the hurt that Junsu was inflicting on his son, every question lead to an answer which dug him in deeper and deeper. This was what the future looked like in his son’s eyes, the thought of missing home consisting of darkness, rubbish and constant interruptions, he knew of nothing better and it was because of Junsu’s selfish ways.

“It has nothing to do with you.”
“It has everything to do with me, espec-”
“Especially what Yoochun? If you’re thinking what I think you are thinking then don’t. He isn’t.”
Yoochun smiles at the child and crouches down in front of him.
“Hello young man, what’s your name?”
He offers the little boy a freshly baked croissant.
“Ji-”
“What did I tell you about strangers?”
The child retracts his extending hand and places his index finger across his lips.
“I’m hardly what you call a stranger.”
Yoochun offers a pastry to Junsu.
“No thanks. My son doesn’t know you so you’re a stranger.”
“You’re hungry right young man? Take it, it’s okay.”
“Are you going to disobey me?”
“I’m your daddy’s good friend.”
“Stop confusing him.”
The child’s eyes to and fro from one man to another, extending his arm and retracting it back again.
“Lets go.”
“Take it.” Yoochun whispers to the child.
"Will you please listen to me Jinwoo?!"
Junsu grabs his son's tentatively.
" Jinwoo? We were going to call our son that..."
Junsu hesitates as their eyes lock for a second.
“We have to go.”
“Why are you being like this?”
“We both have our own lives now; we have people we need to take care of. We’ve moved on, so let’s carry on moving. Come on son, let’s go.”

And he continues being his selfish self, because beneath the smile, beneath the guilt and hurt lies the reason he is this way.
He had hurt the most important people in his life, the people he loves so dearly. The one person he thought he would spend his whole life with was driven away into the arms of another person, to reveal the truth would create a wedge in his life that would impact his future with his other half, something Junsu couldn’t do. Yoochun would be happier this way, he would, he didn’t need Junsu to bring him down again.

“Who’s moved on? You? Because I haven’t moved since the day you left!”

----
Next Chapter 03
 
 
 
lammyellaxxxlammyellaxxx on April 6th, 2011 12:08 am (UTC)
Mines!!!!
*will be back later* ^^
(off to bed!)

xxx
lammyellaxxxlammyellaxxx on April 6th, 2011 10:43 am (UTC)
what?!!!!*#?#*!!!
Susu-ah, why so stubborn? its so obvious that the Chunster still loves him uber-lots.
why does he keep pushing him away??? he should just take Chun back, so that the whole family can have their 'happy-ever-after'
really wanting to whollop the mama right now~XD

morrrrrrrrrrrrrr pls. (^_^)
♥♥♥
forever_smilezforever_smilez on April 7th, 2011 06:12 pm (UTC)
Because the silly boy is caught up at the fact that he could continue to hurt Yoochun and get in the way of the happy life he thinks Yoochun has with someone else :(

Haha you and the rest of 'Between The Gaps' readers what to get her! XD

Updating tonight! Thank you hun!! ♥♥♥♥
xiapwa: 소시 (탱) : u make my heart go 두근 두근baboboy on April 6th, 2011 12:10 am (UTC)
oh god I'm crying so hard ;A;
forever_smilezforever_smilez on April 7th, 2011 06:13 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry lovey! :(

Thank you for reading, I'll be updating tonight! :) ♥♥
shushi93shushi93 on April 6th, 2011 12:45 am (UTC)
yea, you update it ^^
aww...junsu is yoochun happiness.no one can change it.yoochun mom should know that.Junsu, please comeback to Yoochun T.T
yea..Jinwoo is their son :)
so sad...
update soon ! can you add me back?
forever_smilezforever_smilez on April 7th, 2011 06:16 pm (UTC)
Sorry it's taken so long to update.
Junsu is so confused now, thinking that Yoochun was happy and now Yoochun wanting him back :(
I will be updating tonight so hopefully everything will be more clearer :)
Thank you for sticking with this fic! :) I think I've added you back ;) ♥♥
Junsuholic (Anggi Kim)jsholic on April 6th, 2011 02:54 am (UTC)
new reader here!!
owh baby,, poor my yoosu TT.TT
hand me a tissue..

junsu should come back to yoochun.
why can they get their happiness??
so Jin Woo is their son,, they had endured this harsh life, come back to chun and get Your happiness Su-ah..

i've added you,, mind add me back?
forever_smilezforever_smilez on April 7th, 2011 06:18 pm (UTC)
So many things are in their way, well in Junsu's eyes anyway and Yoochun's mother has cause such a huge wedge in their life that Junsu has become so confused :(

I think I've added you back ;) Thank you for giving this fic a chance, I'll be updating in a few hours :D ♥♥
gsl_cassieastgsl_cassieast on April 6th, 2011 02:55 am (UTC)
new reader!!!:D
poor yoosu!!! T.T
why su?? why u just let chun go like that??
and chun's mommy such a..... arggh!!! i hate she!!!><
please continue this:)
forever_smilezforever_smilez on April 7th, 2011 06:20 pm (UTC)
Yoochun's mother is such a evil lady :(
The next chapter should make everything a lot clearer, which will be up in a few hours :)
Thank you so much for giving this fic a chance! ♥♥
zyra1015zyra1015 on April 6th, 2011 05:15 am (UTC)
i just read this story..love the story line..
u make me cry...waiting 4 more...
forever_smilezforever_smilez on April 7th, 2011 06:21 pm (UTC)
Sorry that I made you cry :(

Thank you for giving this fic a chance! I will be updating tonight :) ♥♥
Jihaejihae_shii on April 6th, 2011 09:49 am (UTC)
aigoo reading this hurts my heart D: i hope su just accepts chun back especially for their son!!! TT.TT thanks for the updaaate :DDD
forever_smilezforever_smilez on April 7th, 2011 06:47 pm (UTC)
:(
The next chapter should make things a lot clearer. Will be up soon!
Thank you for reading! :) ♥♥
joy_twinzjoy_twinz on April 6th, 2011 10:11 am (UTC)
I wanna bitch-slap Yoochun's mom so bad!!!!
why can't junsu listen to Yoochun first?He just can't see both of them are hurting.
They have to get back to each other for their son's sake.
this made me shed tears like a bitch. update soon, ne?
forever_smilezforever_smilez on April 7th, 2011 06:51 pm (UTC)
In the beginning he trusted Yoochun's mother just like Yoochun did, when she started to poison him with lies, he didn't realised until it was too late :( And now he thinks he would continue hurting Yoochun if he let him back into their lives. BUT things will be clearer soon, I'll be updating in a few hours :)
Thank you for giving this fic a chance! ♥♥
mingkusmingkus on April 6th, 2011 12:26 pm (UTC)
new reader~~
yoochun mother is just a bitch..i hate her..puahhahah.

lol junsu stop being selfish will u...
just think about ur son....

cant wait for the next update....
^_^
forever_smilezforever_smilez on April 7th, 2011 06:56 pm (UTC)
Re: new reader~~
The evil mother in law! :P
I realised that I've made Junsu a little too selfish lol but with good intentions, he has a child to take care off and he doesn't want to continue hurting nor would he want to hurt others.
I'm going to update tonight so everything will piece together soon :)

Thank you for giving this fic a chance and for reading my other Yoosu fics :) ♥♥
huishan12huishan12 on April 6th, 2011 12:27 pm (UTC)
omo D___:
poor junsu~ ):

please update soon babe! <3
forever_smilezforever_smilez on April 7th, 2011 06:57 pm (UTC)
:'(
I'm updating tonight :)
Thank you for giving this fic a chance! ♥♥
aw.shinawshin on April 6th, 2011 03:54 pm (UTC)
Sighs. =/ I had to read chapter 1 again. I hope yoochun's mother is happy seeing yoochun suffering. Thanks for the update!
forever_smilezforever_smilez on April 7th, 2011 07:00 pm (UTC)
You'll find out what happens to her in the next chapter :P
Thank you for sticking with this fic! :) Updating soon :D ♥♥
s.pigletsheilapiglet on April 7th, 2011 02:15 am (UTC)
can't believe that JS would let YC's mom talk him into letting YC go...ugh...he was SO close to telling him the truth!!...wish that JS trusted in YC's love for him more instead of believing in the evil mother...I can't wait for JS and YC to find out the truth about everything and finally reunite and have the happy ending they deserve...update soon!=)
forever_smilezforever_smilez on April 7th, 2011 07:05 pm (UTC)
Yoochun let his mum back into his life thinking she would be a better mother so he fully trusted her and Junsu followed suit. Her 'support' when they went to the doctors was something Junsu thought was normal and thankful for. Her poison were always that deep that it made him question everything, even their love -which was so strong- was in jeopardy. He's so confused :'(
Things will be clearer in the next chapter which will be up tonight :)
Thank you for reading!! :D ♥♥
chocowaterchocowater on June 2nd, 2013 03:49 pm (UTC)
...................i really am speechless. so sad ;_;